I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
