you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
