I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
