Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
