I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
