who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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