I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
