i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Still dying that you shit outside
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
