wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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