Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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