you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I stole a fireplace last night.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
