So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
