When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
