i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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