I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
