i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
