There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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