I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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