Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
