What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
