I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
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You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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