you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
