She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
third nipple confirmed
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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