Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
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