im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i drank out of a bidet.
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Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
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No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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