god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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