haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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