Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
