dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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