im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
