my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
