You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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