I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
