I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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