a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
