Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
