i think my tv is drunk
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
