Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
