Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
