I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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