Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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