my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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