The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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