i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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