Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
