Even the bartender felt bad for me
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
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You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
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I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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