This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
