I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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