Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize