Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
