i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
