That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
