I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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