My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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