if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
