i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
