We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
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then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
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She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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