I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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