shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
