When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I love you. Go after that dick
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