Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
