if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
