I like my sex mixed with concussions.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I will pee on everything he values.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
