I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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